A Girl Worries in Brooklyn: Here am I floating round my tin can Far above the Moon Planet Earth is blue And there's nothing I can do...

You can thank David Bowie for the title of this blog entry. I, personally have been floating in a tin can far above the moon since they cut the umbilical chord. Oh and yes, planet earth is blue & there is nothing we can do. I met this total freak show at the local dive bar recently that really left a positive stain on my life. He told me that if a person has developed a coping mechanism that helps them to get through life effectively, that person has won half the battle. It is just unrealistic to be sober and aware 24 hours of the day, 7 days a week. I personally only want to be aware a minimum of 9 hours a day and even that is often more than i can take. I drink when i think i need to drink, i take an ambien when i think i need to sleep and I actively seek out amazing music, even if it means riding out solo and posting up bass side all night, immersing myself in the music completely and blocking out everyone else around me. Oh and not putting my drink down, not even for a second, don't get it twisted it is still New York City, Rufe's have and always will be a concern. I give no one the benefit of the doubt, not even for a second. Assume everyone around you has extremely bad intentions and pay attention to the DJ.
Drink, Meet other humans on the bathroom line but always keep it short and simple, inquire about their lives people on drugs always say very strange things and you can take those memories home with you.

Last night, I did just that.

I have just met some pretty amazing DJ, not only is he incredibly talented but he surrounds him self with an amazing crew of people that not only make me feel incredibly comfortable but some what adopted me into their really sweet, weird world. For the last two weeks I have been sitting by watching this music being made, all the time, effort, booze and tripping in general that went into these new tracks that were premiered for the very first time at Sullivan Room. One of these track's being called "hot business" I have never been bass side during a show, i have never been as close as i was last night to the general operations. I was able to see every twist and turn made concerning balance control, bass and auto warp. I payed very close attention, took it all in.

Took several pictures that were just the color black, but regardless i got what i needed.

Watched the smog form around a giant shiny disco ball and hug the DJ booth, watched engaged fan's wipe the sweat from their brow, keeping it rock steady until the stage lights came on and it was time to leave. Walking up the narrow stairwell at Sullivan Room, I took notice of the general vibe of satisfaction emitting from every one's sweaty, pores.

There were times throughout the night where i saw couples dancing and thought about how i was posted up alone, but i didn't let those thoughts bring me down.

The best part of the evening for me at least was the ending, when a tiny little girl emerged in shiny nylon stretch pants, approached the DJ booth and went Ham, totally didn't see that coming. She was about my height and weight and she had to jump around quite a bit up their to keep a steady flow, because having shorter arms makes one have to go the extra mile. She really tore it up, she looked like she was loving every second of it. I think she might be one of the coolest chicks i ever met, i thought i was cool and I'm just don't know the half of it apparently. Her boyfriend and her actually DJ together, it was really fucking cute to the point where i wanted to suggest they make a tumblr together, but i am glad i didn't because i would have come off as a hyped up 6th grader, but i was totally thinking it the whole time. How do people find that type of situation? Like, i like you, you like me and we are both really cool and good looking we should totally fuck, just because clearly god had intentions.

In general, sometimes there are these couples that you see that just look like they were meant to be, they almost even look alike, the passion can be recognized from miles away.... basically what i am trying to say is you wouldn't mind watching this type of couple have sex, out of curiosity.

Like, Seriously ..
What does that look like, because it looks great from a distance already i can only imagine what goes on behind closed doors.

Passion? I'll keep my post at the dj stand and hold my breathe.

I will continue to hold my breath in general, regarding everything.

More and More lately i keep meeting these beautiful, smart, funny, down ass chicks and for whatever reason, we start to talk about men and then we find a common bond, terrible luck, jaded, up and arms. A mutual agreement is made that we made the choice to live in NYC, live this lifestyle, we made the necessary steps to become independent, sleep in the middle of our queen size bed and resort to watching porn on our iphones. But, at the end of the day all we really want is someone to give us a nice head rub and tell us that everything is going to be alright. I hate that at one point in my life i thought that the show Sex and the City was over dramatic and a complete exaggeration of what it is like to be single in New York City, but fuck ... it turned out to be real life. Fuck all that noise for really, really real.
I never thought there would be a time in my life in which I would ever fall asleep mid masturbation in my work clothes, or that i would be masturbating so intensely that i gave myself a Charley horse, stood up, tried to walk it out and ended up tripping on a sneaker and having my face come into direct contact with my cold, hard concrete floor.

I didn't even get off, I just felt creepy for the remainder of the night and went to the bar.

I guess what i am trying to say here is, nothing is ever going to be perfect, something will always be off, but it is important to keep the faith, distract yourself from what you feel is missing, with something you know you have.

Never take anything for granted.

I have a balance of 32 cents in my checking account right now, but I'm expected to be bass side at Output tonight around midnight, with my knee highs and my heart on my sleeve.

Even with having only .32 cents to my name, i get my "by whatever means on" & It's been 8 years already, I think NYC knows that about me ..